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Interruptitis by Colette CarlsonJust let me finish!!!
Are any of you like me? Your mind speeds ahead when listening to someone speak, they pause and you... jump in and finish their sentence? Although I'm much more careful about this with business colleagues than I am with my own family, it's still unacceptable and rude.
We can listen four times faster than we can talk--hence, the challenge for those of us who are prone to interruptitis. Yes, I just made that up.
Let's take a look at how to handle this situation from two perspectives: when it happens to you, and when you're the problem.
Research suggests that men interrupt women more than the other way around (my smart-aleck male friend says it's because men don't talk long enough to be interrupted!) and I 've watched this play out at meetings. Perhaps it's just conditioning, as I've met plenty of women who are comfortable just jumping in when someone pauses (me included), which is often what happens during meetings. But what about if you've barely paused and someone starts to take over your next sentence? In order to ensure your suggestions or strategies remain yours, speak up and say, "Please let me finish, and then I'd love your input." Or "Just a minute, please" and continue. Of course, if this is a client you're trying to woo, give them the floor. In that case, let them finish, address their issues and do a brief recap before getting back to business.
What if somebody totally grabs your input and tries to make it their own? Be brave and say, "How is that different from what I suggested a few moments ago?" or "I'm glad you're in agreement with what I suggested earlier." It calls them on their sneakiness.
Sure, in some circumstances, trying to get a word in edgewise is like trying to thread a needle on a sewing machine while it's bobbing. But whatever you do, don't raise your hand to get noticed! Children raise their hands--in business, wait for the moment and grab it. |
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Now, what if you're the problem? Well, they say awareness is the first step to change. No one wants to get a reputation as a poor listener, or of having such a big ego that you can't take turns.
We all know the type who barely waits for you to finish so they can launch into their own tirade. If you really want to break the habit, ask for support. Get others to hold you accountable--and if you have children they would love this assignment--being in the power seat! Oh, how they'll delight in saying, "Mom! You just did it again! Stop interrupting people!"
Look, being the Interruptor makes you look bad.
Why? Because disruptions cause the Interruptee to lose their train of thought, start over on a new topic, and feel uncomfortable and unimportant.
So, do your colleagues a favor and zip it and listen. And, for your families, make an extra effort to show respect to the people who mean the most to you. Defeat the Interruptor--one sentence at a time. Okay, now I'll shut up and let you have a turn.
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